Perfect Family

Perfect Family

Unrealistic expectations; we are all guilty of having them. We expect our spouse to know and to do things that we have never expressed. We are upset at friends because they haven’t contacted us while we have never reached out to them. We get angry at children when they do not do the things we never taught them. We get angry at parents because they do not understand our situation, because we haven’t opened up to tell them.

Out of all the expectations we have that are unrealistic, I think one of the most glaring is the pressure we put on ourselves and family members to have or be a “perfect” family. We anguish ourselves to be able to have a family portrait that has everyone together beaming love and radiance. What is in that portrait? Is it a true picture of the peace and love that these individuals share in their home? What happens when the pictures and portraits seem to be the only parts of our lives that look happy and together? If this strikes a cord with you in some way, you’re not alone!

The narrative of the Bible describes God’s people, often in family units, and they usually display home lives that are as much a wreck as you and I. Adam and Eve, the first family, raised a son that murdered his brother. Noah was betrayed by Ham. Abraham really messed up trying to force a second family. Isaac and Rebekah’s favoritism ripped their families apart. Jacob’s sons sold their brother Joseph as a slave.

Even the great King David had a home life that would make a soap opera. David’s first son died after an adulterous affair. Later his son Amnon, raped his own sister, causing his brother Absalom to kill him. Absalom would quickly turn against his own father and try to supplant his kingdom before he was killed.   David’s life was obviously a mess, but what made David a great king wasn’t the outcomes of his family or his own achievements, but the heart that was always in pursuit of his God.

We share a common and holy desire for the best outcomes for our families and ourselves, however, it must be recognized that our pursuit must first be of our holy God. We should seek to have holy families rather than successful. While the two are not exclusive, if we seek success before holiness, we will never attain the latter. We need to spend less time steering our loved ones toward a physical reward and start encouraging them toward a heavenly home.  

I Love You,

Jonathan